Can You Ever Text A Man First? [Video]

Hi Divas,

Can you ever text a man first? Should you ever text a man first?

As a feminine energy love coach, I GENERALLY recommend women not to initiate contact first with a man. There are several reasons for it and you can read about them in this article or this video.

However, does this mean you can NEVER ever initiate contact? Not really.

There is much more meat and nuance to this seemingly simple question.

In today’s short video I take up Christina’s (from Chicago) question on when is it okay to text a man first!

I hope this helps. In case of any questions or clarifications, please feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below and I will get back to you personally.

And if you need more help mastering the art of dating, check out my Date Like A Diva video training series!

Love, Sami

P.S. – Why should boys have all the fun? That’s why I started my Wunder Divas, private and confidential Facebook group where we women get to have fun, learn about men & relationships and have lots of heart to heart. Join us here –


Sami Wunder

Sami Wunder is a certified dating and relationship coach, a blogger and inspirational speaker. She helps women all over the world reconnect with their feminine energy and attract and keep the man of their dreams. Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.

5 thoughts on “Can You Ever Text A Man First? [Video]”

  1. Hi Sami, I have been an avid follower of your newsletters since quite some time now and enjoy reading them a lot. I am single but knowing ways of life wont harm right? I had been a fool and let myself into a toxic companionship. It wasn’t a relationship exactly since I was on phone with him more. Met him only twice. Your artcles did try to open my eyes..but until things got so bad that it just became a pain, I had to let it go. At that time I remembered one of your articles where you had told that in situations like these, it feels that you are in love but unless you meet a person, you can never be sure. Love doesn’t happen over internet or phone. Anyways, I got over it pretty quickly , no withdrawal symptoms..proving it wasn’t love. Then I let myself build back all my lost confidence and respect and be the person I had always been, even better infact coz though it was a bad experience but nevertheless a great lesson. I learnt a lot. After that , as life progressed,..a couple of guys contacted me through different sources.. And all thanks to you, I never went all excited, trying to text them first or expecting a whole lot. I stayed in my what you call ‘diva mode’ or tried to and remembered that if we arent frequently hearing from someone then the person might not be interested much. So though both wanted to date, I went ahead without compromising on my respect or confidence and let them take the initiative. If he would have the man for me.. he will make the effort..Atleast I am happy that I didn’t try to gain the attention . Thanks!!

  2. Sami,
    I found your advise very thoughtful and well presented.
    You brought a great point- to pay attention to where your energy comes from when you feel an urge for texting.
    I agree, it’s very important to observe.
    And also I like how you presented yourself in this video. So very feminine and soft spoken.
    I am very happy to get your newsletters and Trying to pay attention to your advises. I learn about you from Rori’s letter and I think you should be proud of your achievements in this very needed nowadays area – helping women to reach their feminine potential and vibration, which many of us lost in course of life. Thank you,

    1. Irena, lovely to hear from you again. Thank you! I feel flattered by all those wonderful compliments and glad that you found this advice helpful. I’m always here for you. Love, Sami

  3. Oh my goodness I love your help this makes sense a lot of times when I’m in that needy desperate energy I text first I’m usually the one that texts first and this advice opened my eyes a whole lot more! I’ve been reading and learning a lot from you this month me and my ex starting communicating once again since the beginning of this month and this time I have a new different approach and this whole month we haven’t stopped talking or seeing one another since the past 3 months this is the longest we’ve gotten along enjoyed each others time and have hardly any arguments we had one so far in front of each other yes I did over react it shouldn’t have happened but because he sees the difference how I’ve been balanced with my emotions I’m not yelling at him he stayed even though he said he was going to leave. I’ve been more consistent with not allowing bad behavior and surprisingly he calls me now yesterday he blew off informing me that he was busy and wouldn’t be by when he was supposed to when he called me I didn’t want to argue watched my words and he ended up trying to switch things around to where I was at fault for asking to respect my values and not wanting to be mis treated or feel unhappy I told him I have rhe right for having those expectations from a man because I deserve it and he kept calling me back he switched the time he comes to see me even earlier and he even stayed over when during the week he usually doesn’t then this morning when he left to work I made sure to remind myself I have myself to take care of put me first remember there’s me him and then our relationship and that I shouldn’t text him right away I left my phone alone and kept busy all morning when I checked my phone around noon I noticed about 2 hrs after he just left from being with me he had already texted me three times I been working on my feelings and just focus on that feeling and be comfortable with them and say I feel a lot more try to connect with him with his heart and these past couple days have been wonderful I make sure to let him know he’s appreciated how I notice more good than bad thank you so much I still have so much more to learn from you

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