Choose Heart Over Head And Bring Your Relationship Closer

Hi Divas,

Today’s short and sweet article has just one quick message:

Don’t let the thoughts in your rational head mess up your connection with your feelings! Choose your heart over your head and bring your relationship closer!

Learn How to Bring Him Close & Make Your Relationship Thrive in my free guide [click here to download]

As a woman, nature has bestowed you with extremely special gifts of intuition, a gut instinct and feelings. Your feelings in fact are the most powerful radar you will ever have to help you move through this world in an honest and authentic way. However, we all train our minds so much and our hearts so little that along the way the mind starts to overpower the heart, the seat of our feelings, gut and intuition.

The rational mind declares the feelings as irrational and avoidable.

Choose Heart Over Head

Consider this scenario as an example. Let’s say your man doesn’t do any of the “feel good” things you would like him to do for you. You miss the romance in your relationship. You miss him bringing you flowers or surprising you with a holiday plan or a piece of exquisite jewellery just for you.

Here are the reactions of your head and heart:

Your head says: “It’s alright. He’s busy. I am a modern woman and I don’t have to act like a heroine from the 19th century novels. I don’t need him to do all the cheesy stuff for me. It’s all good! Move on.”

Your feelings say: “But Sami, I feel so sad. I don’t feel as adored as I’d like to feel. I miss something in our relationship. I feel secretly jealous of all the women whose men do these things for them. I wish to have more – I wish to feel his presence and commitment to me more. But I feel so scared to even mention this to him in case he will flip out on me.”

Your head – “Yes he will and you will end up pushing him away. So please shut up! At least he married you. It’s all good. You are a modern day woman and above this kind of stuff.”

Conversation closed. Life goes on.

This is how, over and over again, your head rules out your feelings as irrational and useless and you continue to live and experience a half-hearted love life where you find yourself “settling” and saying it’s all okay rather than expanding in love with joy and praise and saying, “It’s wonderful! It’s grand! I can’t get enough of it!”

So the next time when your head tries to overcome your heart (your feelings, your vulnerability), just ask the head to “shut up.”

Connect with your sadness and what you miss and say it aloud to yourself: “I am just a girl here, and yes, I need this affection and adoration too from my man, just like any other girl. I deserve it.”

And then learn new ways to speak to him from your heart so that he feels compelled to give to you what you want instead of feeling under pressure and running away from you.

For instance, if you want your man to plan more dates with you, one possible script could look like this.

“Honey. Something has been on my heart for sometime. I feel scared saying this but it also doesn’t feel good to hide my feelings from you. The thing is that I realised it would feel really good to me if we could spend some more quality time together. I’d so enjoy having some fun dates with you. What do you think?”

Bingo! That’s how feelings bring your relationship closer. When you share your feelings with your man, he can hear you much better than he would if you just ordered him to take you out on more dates.

Plus, such a script works fantastically well because you have stated your needs in a vulnerable way and without making your man wrong or making him feel like he´s at flaw for not taking good enough care of you.

Since most men would respond well to a script like this, what you get as a result of sharing your feelings, is more connection with your partner. He feels inspired to make you happy (because he feels trusted by you to find a solution to your concerns) and you get your needs met and become a happier, more attractive woman in the relationship. A win-win!

The bottomline then is that being vulnerable, connecting with our feelings and sharing them with our man is a way more rewarding experience for the relationship than constantly being in our heads and stuffing our emotions down.

To help you connect with your feelings and live life like a feminine diva, I’ve created my affirmations audio. Check it out here:

I’d love to hear your experiences. Do you hide your feelings out of fear of rocking the boat? How does that feel? Have you tried sharing your feelings with your partner? What was the result of that conversation?

Love, Sami

Sami Wunder

Sami Wunder is a certified dating and relationship coach, a blogger and inspirational speaker. She helps women all over the world reconnect with their feminine energy and attract and keep the man of their dreams. Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.

3 thoughts on “Choose Heart Over Head And Bring Your Relationship Closer”

  1. Hi Sami,

    First I would like to thank you for your posts and videos very helpful, I’d like to ask you something, there is this guy we met on high school and become friends.
    we have been talking too much on facebook lately and I felt like there is a kind of connection, then he asked me on a date two times, the first time was like magic we laughed so I much I even felt like I discovered a new side of him, nothing physically happened, and then the second date it was also good but then he told me that he was thinking about us quite a lot lately but he’s not relationship material so I told him that it was okay I understand (I never mentioned that I wanted to be in a relationship) then he kissed me and hold my hands (Shouldn’t let him do… I know) after that we kept talking like nothing happened he was almost always starting the conversation.

    I like this guy so much and I don’t want to ruin our friendship should I keep cool until some day maybe he decides to be in a relationship or simply move on??

  2. Hi Yoko. Thank you so much. So glad the articles and videos have been helping you.

    Here´s my quick tip for you – If you like him more than a friend, don´t settle for just friendship. It will reduce his attraction for you even more (right now if he is leaning forward and kissing etc – he is still attracted to you).

    This article will help you a lot –

    And make sure you have access to my E-book – that should solve a lot of your doubts.

    Love, Sami

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