Three Wrong Beliefs About Love That Are Keeping You Stuck

Hi Divas,

Sometimes what we “believe” to be true about love and relationships can make that big difference on whether we have a fulfilling love life or a life full of drama, fights, heartache, struggle and breakups.

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Learn about these three wrong beliefs about love and relationships that might be hindering your bliss in dating or relationships.

Three Wrong Beliefs About Love That Are Keeping You Stuck

1. You Have To Work Hard To Get And Sustain Love In Your Life

 This is a very powerful wrong belief I hear from the women I work with  all the time. It is powerful because it puts you into the wrong  perspective about love right from the start– “I have to work hard  to get love and then I have to work hard to make it stay in my life.”

 The truth, in fact, is the complete opposite. Real love feels easy… It feels  effortless … It just flows between two people and it is not like a professional goal that one can work hard and achieve…

As a woman, especially, you don’t have to DO anything to get and sustain love in your life with a good man.

I remember this one time when I met this gorgeous middle-aged woman in Paris some years back. She was enjoying a blissful romance with her husband, day after day, even after 20 years of marriage. They looked so much in love and he was leaning in to kiss her every ten minutes of our conversation. I remember feeling jealous and wondering what secret she knew that I didn’t?  I thought in my head: “That’s a love life I could dream of but never create myself! How does she make everything look so easy?”

Well, today I live in the same fairy tale and I know – she made it look easy because it is supposed to be easy! She knew the power of possessing the right beliefs about love and she manifested that right belief into the kind of relationship she wanted.

For many of us, this belief can be very hard to digest. It feels icky and almost counter-intuitive because all our lives we are made to believe that love is hard, love is painful, love is struggle. We get influenced by the countless heroines on cinema who get their hearts broken and we grow up believing that that must be love…

That true love hurts…

And I am here to tell you – it’s not!

It could be an addiction, an obsession, it could be pining after a man who doesn’t return your affections, but it’s not real love, if its not feeling easy.

2. All Men Are Jerks!

This one is so popular. I hear so many women say it, and I feel sad, each and every time I hear it…

Many of us who have been in difficult relationships with abusive men or who have been through heartbreaking dating experiences, often say it because that has been our experience of “some men.” I feel their pain and I feel their anger.

But I want to ask them: Does it serve you to believe that all men are jerks if what you are really looking for is a loving relationship with a good man?

Are you not hurting your own chances of finding a good man if you outrightly judge and categorize all men out there as jerks?

 So I want to tell you and re-assure you that no matter how bad it feels to you right now –

 There are SO many good men out there, dying to get to know you, to love you and to treat you as the queen that you are…

 You may not have met them yet, but this is something we can fix.

But you have to stay open to their goodness. Don’t shut them out just because “one jerk” did what he did. Allow a good man to come close to you. Start slowly letting go of a belief that is not serving you, that is not helping you get what you want in your love life.

3. Men Are Afraid Of Feelings

 As women, we are emotional creatures.

However, society has taught us to suppress our emotions because apparently emotions are not cool and they make us look “weak.” To add to that, we are also told that men hate feelings and cannot deal with them…

 So we suppress our feelings even more, in order to look put together and not “freak out” a man.

 Well, it’s all wrong!

 Men love feelings.

In fact, your feelings are the single most powerful way to connect with the man in your life, or any new man you are meeting. Men are not afraid of feelings, they are afraid of drama, blame and how we women explode after we have not expressed our true feelings for long. And that’s when they shut down to us.

If you know how to express your true feelings to a man in the right away (and I can teach you that), I can guarantee that you can bring any man feeling closer and more drawn to you.

So take a moment today, and reflect if any of these wrong beliefs about love have been sub-consciously guiding you and influencing you in your dating and love decisions?

 You can start to change it all – by switching your beliefs – one baby step, one little belief at a time…

For more help shifting your beliefs, check out Attract Your Soulmate – my advanced, 7+ hours audio program for single women. This program takes a deep, almost spiritual approach, and helps you build a rock-solid foundation of healthy believes about love, which in turn works to attract the love and devotion of a quality man.

You can find Attract Your Soulmate here:


Sami Wunder

Sami Wunder

Sami Wunder is a certified dating and relationship coach, a blogger and inspirational speaker. She helps women all over the world reconnect with their feminine energy and attract and keep the man of their dreams. Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.

5 thoughts on “Three Wrong Beliefs About Love That Are Keeping You Stuck”

  1. Hi Sami. Your article feels really good to read. All this while I was so afraid of showing my feelings to my husband and I realize it was shutting him down to me. Now I share more with him and I can see he feels better around me too.

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