As high-achieving women of this modern day and age, we all live in a highly masculinized world. My work rests on the fundamental premise that living and connecting with our feminine energy is the key to achieving love transformation in our lives and relationships.
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If you’ve studied my work at least a little by now (I have an amazing one-hour audio training call in my Attract Your Soulmate program on this very topic), you would know that I firmly believe that this connection we women have with our feminine energy is our single biggest power in romantic relationships and around our men.
Unfortunately, it is also a power that is largely neglected and ignored in today’s world. We are all women of an era where the messages of femininity have been mocked and equated with being a doormat, or somehow being subservient to men.
This, of course, isn’t true by any means.
These are myths that are propagated by those that have an incomplete knowledge of this concept and a lack of awareness on what it truly means to be connected with this Universal energy, endowed to us women by nature.
It helps to remember that, when we’re talking about feminine energy, we are reconnecting you to that force, that already exists within you. Hence, you don’t essentially have to change yourself, but rather embrace those womanly parts and elements within you, that Universal energy has already gifted to you.
What Is Feminine Energy?
For the purpose of clarity, let us revisit the definition of feminine energy.
It is the “being” energy, in contrast to the masculine “doing energy”. When you are in this “being” energy, you are in receptive mode and allow your man, experiences, and life itself, to fill you up. This is again opposite to masculine energy, which is a forward-moving, penetrative force that “gets things done”.
When you are in your feminine energy, you are not busy doing, but instead enjoying that which is before you.
This idea of “not doing and just being” may feel like an alien and almost annoying concept at first, especially to those of us who have trained ourselves to be in our masculine 24/7. However, it helps to remember that reconnecting with our femininity is the key to restoring that balance that is missing today from so many women’s lives.
Yes, you want that external career success, but you also want that amazing, fulfilling relationship – that is what a balanced life looks like, and that is what reconnecting with your feminine energy will help you achieve.
The Benefits Of Being In Your Feminine Energy
A woman who knows how to connect with her feminine side will naturally and effortlessly be irresistible to men, or to her current partner. This is true, even for highly successful and powerful women.
Look at my own life as an example. I run a heart-centred, super successful company that helps powerful women find and keep love. I have a six-figure salary and I am a CEO, and yet I am a mother to a toddler and a wife to a man who adores the ground I walk on.
Learning how to balance my highly developed, ambitious masculine side with the softness and receptive energy of femininity has been the game-changer for me. This is why I feel so passionate about bringing forward this message to other strong and successful women, who are struggling in dating and relationships and somehow feel they have to give up on their career success or play “dumb” in order to attract or keep a good man in their life.
Short answer: You don’t. 🙂
You just have to learn how to reconnect with your feminine energy.
High quality men are by nature designed to be instinctively drawn towards a woman who is exuding femininity and confidence. And when I say confidence, I don’t necessarily mean a loud, boisterous, boastful confidence that many of us strong and educated women have mastered in our boardrooms and meetings.
Feminine confidence can be subtle and discreet. It’s an inner sense of worth and light that a woman exudes, irrespective of the status of who is around her. I will be happy to share more of this wisdom on feminine confidence with you on another blog post. For today, I want to give you my top 3 ways on how you can start being more in your feminine energy in life, love, and relationships.
The blog is particularly going to help those strong, successful readers and clients of mine who are forced to be a lot in their masculine energy at work and business, and find it hard to reconnect with their feminine side, once back home with their man or on a date.
So without further ado, here are my top 3 ways to help you reconnect with your feminine energy:
1. Surrender More & Stop Controlling And Pushing For Outcomes With Men
One of the biggest masculine energy traits we modern women display in our dating and relationships with our men is the desire to be in control and have things “our way”. When we don’t have things our way, when we cannot control him to do what we want him to do, we become upset and we assume he doesn’t care.
Now my darlings, I do understand that this trait of controlling every detail to the T and pushing for the things you want has probably helped you achieve success in your professional life and career. You received your promotion by asking for it, your project was graded as outstanding because you managed and controlled every detail of it by yourself.
However, this masculine energy trait of control isn’t your best friend when it comes to love and your romantic life.
Women who are constantly controlling and micro-managing repulse men on a very instinctual level. Men feel emasculated and “less than” in the presence of such a woman.
One of the biggest gifts you can give a man who is in your life, whether your current partner or your date, is to allow him to be and feel like a man in your presence.
Remember: This isn’t about playing helpless or unintelligent. This is about being a queen, a feminine diva who can “allow” men the absolute privilege of leading in the relationship or dating situations.
What would giving up control look like in real life?
For starters, if you’re feeling an urge to tell him where he should take you for a date or how he should buy the self -help book you recommend to solve his career problems, stop yourself in the moment.
If you’re married or in a relationship, stop yourself when you feel an urge to fix him or tell him exactly how he should cook, or how exactly he should place the dishes in the dishwasher. Check out my advanced program for women in relationships, Soulmates Forever, that goes into great detail of the kind of controlling behaviours that kill attraction in all our relationships.
Once you stop controlling less and spot your urges to control him or the situation, you will start to find it easier to surrender more. You will be able to deal with some imperfection and be okay with what is, vs. always trying to have it your way.
So breathe and relax through those urges of control when they come up!
Imagine breathing out the tension and frustration you feel with him or the situation, and let love and the energy of surrender take over your body and soothe you. You don’t have to control every minor detail of your relationship or the man in front of you. You can consciously choose to let some things go.
2. Get Out Of Your Head And Connect More With Your Feelings
The second element of femininity that you want to bring into your life and into your interactions with men is that of staying more connected with your feelings and being less in your head and thinking many thoughts.
On a daily basis, everything challenges us to manage so many things – right from our jobs, to our kids, to our households. It is obvious that, often, there is no time to even stop and feel, forget about expressing our feelings.
Plus, all the strong and successful ones amongst us have particularly learned to be ashamed of any sign of emotion that comes up. When we were little girls, we learned to call it “weakness”.
However, our emotions and feelings are the single biggest glue when it comes to connecting with our man’s heart and bonding us to him.
The more you can connect with your own emotional world, the more you can connect with HIS emotional world.
When my clients tell me that their man is inexpressive and emotionally shut down, I often ask them to look within: “Where are you emotionally shut down? Where are you hiding from your own feelings?”
As women, we are the emotional leaders in our romantic relationships, and to re-establish connection with our men’s hearts and experience emotional depth and fulfillment in our marriages and interactions with men, we first must re-establish connection with our own hearts.
I teach how to do in this detail in Soulmates Forever, my advanced program for women in relationships. I also recommend this for single ladies who want to learn advanced tools for understanding energy dynamics between man and woman in romantic relationships, how to communicate productively and effectively, and much more. You can check it out here.
3. Slow Down & Be Present In The Moment
The third element of empowered feminine energy is learning how to slow down in the moment and be present.
If you’re anything like who I used to be, your day starts and ends with a rush. You want to get a lot of things done, and the faster you do things, the more you get done.
Logically correct – and yet all that walking fast and talking fast prevents you from being truly present in the moment and enjoying what it has to offer.
And again, while this speed could be beneficial for your professional life, it is not beneficial for your romantic life.
Feminine energy is all about slowing down and enjoying the moment. It’s about drinking the coffee for its aroma and warmth, not just for the caffeine hit.
When a woman can slow down and be present in the moment and connected to her pleasure, she becomes a magnet to men!
A woman connected with her femininity can find the joy in the now, no matter what life throws at her.
So, this week, see if you can get yourself to slow down, even if for a few minutes. At the start and end of a day, and especially on your dates or when you’re around your man.
Do the cooking, but do it with a spring in your step! Do the driving to work, but do it with a song on your lips. Drink the coffee, but make sure to enjoy its aroma.
Take a break from work, open the window and feel the fresh breeze on your face and allow it to relax you. Suck the juice of the moment and see what it does to your overall levels of joy and satisfaction in life.
That’s it from me for now. I’d love to hear back from you in the comments on how these tips felt for you, and how you are getting along with implementing them.
If you’d like more active support with your relationship or love life, send us an email at support@go.samiwunder.com, or book a call with a member of my team here.
To your success in love,
Sami Wunder
Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.
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Wonderful advice! I get it! I love it!
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~ Sandra, Team Sami Wunder
Interesting comments.
I’ve always been more attracted to women who were not from my country (UK). I’m sometimes attracted to UK girls but not often. Loud, hard-drinking, micro-managing women are literally my worst nightmare.
I really don’t care about a woman’s salary at all. In terms of looks, I can see the most beautiful women physically who has a repulsive attitude and I’m not going to be interested in her, whereas a plain Jane with a real feminine energy is kind of irresistible. This really is gold material for women to be honest.
Thank you, Joseph! It is a pleasure to hear it “from the horse’s mouth”. 🙂
I have had to be a strong woman and yet all my life wished a man would hold me up. I do not like going against what feels more natural to me, but I believe I would not have survived had I not reached inside and pulled this male dominant part out. However, I have watched myself incidentally emasculating the men around me and destroying my relationships. For a very long time I could not understand what I was doing to cause this response in so many men. I’m not sure if I can reverse this, but thank you for opening my eyes to it. I truly had no idea or awareness of these traits being a bad thing as they were so desperately needed at one time.
Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
I finally understand at 62 why I have failed so miserably in my love relationships. My career forced me into masculine energy all the time and I would never let it go. Now I am retired and have craved returning to my feminine energy naturally. My new relationship allows me to be in the feminine because he is pure masculine energy and I love it! I think I have finally found the love, joy, and happiness and it is just so easy now. Thank you.
I am Asian and live in a progressing country. Nowadays, we are so determined about being empowered. And I always detached a man from approaching me. Thanks for your article. I will lay back and control my masculine energy, so that my feminine energy will be outstanding.
I Absolutely Love This!!! I’m reclaiming my Divine Femininity!!!
Hi Sami, i more or less ALWAYS fail with guys as soon as the communication is via dating apps, whatsapp, etc. (and not at all in real life, as e.g. i meet people travelling, lived in several countries, months or years later we get back in touch, or meet them online), and just now again though we matched, one wavelength. for me i wonder, is it REALLY masculine energy? i am MASSIVE fiery, i have a very very strong temper. but that is NOT masculine energy (it is temper). but it hits guys in the face. but it is also what they are first attracted by, my strong-willed and non-conventional strong and provoking expressed polarizing opinions. so they feel wow she is a challenge. and i am. and that first attracts them, then repels them. im also soft. in 50% of the cases, as i AM. but in 50% of texts just my strong ENTHUSIASTIC temper strikes through. it is a love of life, it is exuberance (im like the carneval in Rio). can you say something about it? bc i think men then quickly put you into a corner. they are just overwhelmed. sad story.