In today’s video blog, I am giving you the answers to what to gift your man this Christmas, depending on the different stages of dating / relationship you are in. I will also be revealing what I am gifting hubby Chris this holiday season, in case you are looking for some inspiration!
So, what to gift your man this Christmas?
Now for some of you, my phenomenally smart and successful ladies, even this question, “What to gift your man this Christmas?” may piss you off at first (yes, I know how your brain operates, I am THAT good).
Seriously, are we even discussing this, Sami?
And yes, seriously, we are discussing this, because what you take to be an innocent expression of joyful giving to your man at first, can sometimes ruin the budding masculine-feminine energetic dynamic between you and him, especially in the early dating phases.
What do I mean?
Here’s what I mean.
Masculine feels fulfilled when it is giving and wants to make you happy.
Feminine feels fulfilled in receiving and sharing her gratitude and appreciation with the masculine.
This energetic balance is what you’re practicing creating in your romantic relationship with your man, if you are following the Wunder Principles that have brought over 300 clients happy engagements and hundreds other marriages and relationships where the love and attraction was reignited.
Well, let’s say the season of Christmas is no exception to these principles.
It’s still a time where you get to be showered and indulged as the queen of his heart, and he gets to receive tokens of your love and appreciation, while you are still being in your feminine.
This is true even if you make much more money than he does, this is true even if you’re more masculine energy than he is, in other areas of your life.
However, in your love life, you can consciously choose feminine energy and inspire your man to stay stepped up in his fiery masculine.
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What could gifts look like, in practice?
Based on the feminine – masculine energy principles, here are some suggestions, depending on the phase of the relationship you are in:
Just online conversation with a man you haven’t met – No gift is needed. There is no real relationship here.
Early dating phase (1 to 3 dates) – No gift is needed here either. If anything, he should be wondering and worrying at this point, how to impress you.
Mid-level dating phase (5-8 weeks of dating) – Only give a gift when you get one too. Keep it in your purse and give it once he gives you something.
If he doesn’t, take your gift back with you and sell it off to buy something for you and make yourself happy.
Committed relationships and happily married ladies: This is where you can ‘let loose’ a bit and give to your man lovingly, as long as you don’t try to outdo him with how expensive or out of the world your presents are.
Remember, you’re not his mom or dad or grand pa and you don’t have to be responsible for making his biggest dreams and wishes come true on Christmas, even IF you make more money than him. This is simply not the energy wives and dream girls are in.
A wife’s energy is queen energy, one showing love and respect for her man but never trying to overtake his place as the main giver and provider of happiness to the team. He’s the only one who gets to have that privilege.
What am I gifting Chris this Christmas?
Each year, Chris outdoes himself during Christmas time. He spoils me rotten with the choicest presents. Last year, I still remember how I couldn’t stop opening all the presents he had gotten me. There were at least 12-14 presents and all remarkable, beautiful things, one after another.
My favourite piece of Barrock furniture, a luxury holiday in Switzerland, my favourite perfume, a pearl necklace and on and on the list goes.
Even now I can see that, 5 years into the marriage, Chris still lights up to see me light up as a Christmas tree with his presents. It gives him way more joy than any of my presents give him. This is valid even though technically I make way more than what he makes and yet within our marriage, the masculine-feminine equation remains valid.
He gets to make me happy and feel like a million bucks in the process.
This is also the biggest gift you can give your man: your happiness at the efforts he has made to make you happy.
This year, I am personally giving Chris an elegant, classic record player, some whisky cooling stones, a leather belt and engraved cufflings.
Before we conclude, I want to answer two quick questions I received from clients on this topic.
1. What If he insists he doesn’t want anything for Christmas?
Respect it. Yes, just respect a man’s desire when he communicates something like that to you, instead of fighting it and pushing your way or desire down his throat.
2. What if he never gifts me anything for Christmas?
If this doesn’t matter to you, then carry on usual.
However, if it does, which is more likely, then you need to have a straight up conversation about this. Men are not mind readers, and when something is important to us, it is critical that we communicate it and don’t just expect our men to somehow get our needs and simply fulfill them. It doesn’t work that way. Hence, if this is important to you, then sit with your man and let him know that it would make you really happy to create a tradition of gift exchange in the household over Christmas.
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