When Is It Okay To Lean Forward?


Here’s a great question from a private coaching client who is learning and moving forward in her love life brilliantly!

If you have engaged with my work and system of feminine energy attraction which I introduce in my popular E-book – Your Feminine Roadmap To His Commitment – you will know by now that I recommend that women stay in their feminine with men and do not “lean forward” and initiate contact or get into over-giving  mode with a man because all of these things kill his attraction for us . However, does that mean that we can never ever lean forward with a man?

Question – “Sami, I read your book. I found it mind blowing. Like a whole new perspective to my love life – I can even see all the mistakes I’ve been making with my boyfriend. I want to make sure I understand this right so I have a few questions for you. Sami, can you never ever bend forward and kiss your man affectionately on his cheeks? Can you never ever start a conversation first? Can you never ever cook him a nice dinner? Thanks. Kimberly.”

IMG_9009My Answer –

Great question, Kimberly, and absolutely untrue. You’ll often find me leaning forward to give a pecks to my hubby, you’ll often find me holding his head and deeply looking into his eyes affectionately, you’ll find me cooking a nice meal if he is returning late from a business trip after 5 hours of driving. 

So how do you decide when is it okay to lean forward and when not?

2 things decide this.

1) The Flow Of Energy In Your Relationship.

For every one kiss, I am literally being given 30 kisses morning and night. So that kiss, even though I initiate it, it feels more like responding and flowing and giving back than energetically leaning forward.

He is giving me SO much, that cooking a meal twice or thrice a week for us (I eat too) is no big deal. I do it with joy and happiness AND there is no obligation. He doesn’t expect it which again tells you about the healthy energetic flow in the relationship.

On the other hand, if the flow of energy from him to you is not feeling good, you definitely don’t want to be in the giving energy.

2) The Timeline Of Your Relationship

In young love, the dating phase, which I cover intensively in my E-book

(www.samiwunder.com/ebook), I show you how being in your leaned back feminine energy is THE magical recipe to inviting his attention and igniting his attraction for you. I give you the step by step from navigating online dating to getting the ring.

However, in that early phase of dating, deep rooted commitment has not taken place and you don’t want to start getting into the giving energy just then.

When the relationship reaches a point of safety for both people, 6-8 months into the line or more committed relationships like engaged or married couple, then this “flow” of give and take enters the relationship.

As long as his energy flows more to you than yours to him, it’s completely healthy to return his love.

In fact it’s authentic and it’s fun!


Sami Wunder

P.S. – There has been so much action on my private and exclusive support group for women on Facebook that I haven’t been appearing on my website too often. I plan to now – so keep watching this space. If you want to join my Wunder divas (they’re amazing and making SUCH huge strides in love, click here).

Sami Wunder

Sami Wunder is a certified dating and relationship coach, a blogger and inspirational speaker. She helps women all over the world reconnect with their feminine energy and attract and keep the man of their dreams. Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.

One thought on “When Is It Okay To Lean Forward?”

  1. Hi Sami,
    I’m just past the three months and he is getting a bit tichie. I’ve realised I’ve given too much. How do I pull back, is it too late to fix it?

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